TUMBLR-ific Insults to Use Everyday

Hello, people on planet Earth! Today I would like to talk to you about an important problem in everyday life and that is... INSULTS! If you're quick-witted than GREAT, but if you are anything like me then you aren't and need help coming up with insults; No Shame.

Now, these are not to be used for bullying. I repeat not intended for BULLYING! These are for lighthearted banter with your best friend, annoying sister, that one really awesome parent- you know who I'm talking about- who lets you do whatever, or that piece of crap ex. Up to you!

Now let's begin, shall we?

1) You pile of wombat sh*t

2) You uneducated goose penis- this one is double trouble because geese have small pee pees ;)

3) You f-ing walnut

4) You soggy lampshade- for those friends who always seem to be wet (If you catch my drift)

5) Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you'll find a brain back there

6) You're an even worse disappointment than the Percy Jackson movies- this one is for my best friend and all you other fans of the book series

7) You're hair is as flat as you're butt- but we all know this is not intended for Becky

8) You deserve a handjob from Edward Scissorhands- this is a privilege in disguise; 1- it freaking Johnny Depp 2- It'll make him regret cheating

9) I'm no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one

10) Sorry, I don't speak whore- but I do ;) I'm just kidding! Or am I?

11) I'm sorry but I'm not your mirror- can be used for that needed retort

12) Dicknipple- for when you are frustrated

13) You crap covered mailbox flag

14) You little turd burger

15) You're a beautiful exceptional example for need of birth control

16) Go f*ck a cactus

17) I'll kill you with kindness- my personal favorite <3

18) Cheese nugget

19) You unevenly sliced dildo

20) I hope you step on a Lego- Of course I saved the best for last!

I hope that all of you beautiful people can use these in your everyday life to make someone laugh with your wicked skill at creative insults. If you want more just subscribe and let me know by commenting. Tell me which one was your favorite and let me know if you use them or not.

*I did not make and do not own any of these sayings*

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